Here we are. At the very end of 2024. Everyone is posting and planning and plotting for the next thing. Yet I find myself feeling a little sad about it. For the first time maybe ever, instead of nostalgic and excited, I’m feeling like time is really starting to fly. To think an entire year has passed. My first born turned 10. I turned 40, we celebrated every single birthday away from home; for the sake of experiences, and presence over presents. We renovated a camper and took it out on the open road more times than I can remember. What a blessing. I saw my best friend from college. It was amazing in every way, and I’m tearing up thinking about her, and her family and the laughs and tears we shared ♥️

We made memories in good weather and bad. We bonded as a family of 5. The kids grew taller, and funnier, smarter, cooler, stronger and somehow, more lovely. While sitting, and soaking up the moments together, I realized that wasn’t enough. I wanted to quite literally marinate in them by adding a song to a playlist, taking videos and pictures, holding their faces in my hands, and telling them I love them in an otherwise simple moment. I was missing the moment while I was still living in it. 

Summer was so beautiful, and the weather matched. We were gone almost every weekend on an adventure, or celebrating someone or something. It flew by and stood still. The greatest blend of excitement and monotony peppered itself into a life already brimming to the top with love. (Almost no simmering. IYKYK) 

Today, looking back on the year I truly can’t comprehend how a year ago I left my boys at the lake for a sleepover and drove a sleepy 4 year old home. Now she’s 5. How?! Dan and I shared deep conversations, hopes and fears, and Veni, oddly, woke up throughout the night. How was that a year ago? We discussed life and homeschool and moving and living and loving our way through. We made plans for the future, and talked about the past. We do a good job of finding our balance through bickering. Today, and probably then, too 🙂

Twenty twenty four. No lesson left unlearned. Yet I feel like I haven’t learned anything yet. Thank God. I’m not a crotchety old lady yet 😂 

This year I’ve protected myself, my family and my sacred space from people I once shared it with. I’ve stood up for my marriage to people who stood by my side on our wedding day. I’ve begged for forgiveness from people I vowed never to hurt. I’ve overshared. I’ve forgiven people who never apologized. I spoke up. I kept my mouth shut. I’ve spent too much money. I’ve wanted for things. I’ve ignored. I’ve tried one last time. I’ve matched energy, and that didn’t feel good, I’ve made amends. I’ve set boundaries. I’ve settled for peace inside, instead of creating the same old war. I’ve been told I don’t dress my age, act my age or look my age, and for all of those things – I’m thankful.

I’ve been told I’m strong and inspirational but out of 365 days, there were many where I woke up feeling like I’m not enough, like I could be doing more. Some days I prayed to be a better mom, wife, sister and person. Because of that, I say things I’m learning to believe, before my feet even hit the floor, every single morning. For that I’m thankful.

Because I still belly the fullness of grief, I practice gratitude on a regular basis. I can laugh in the morning, and sometimes cry by nightfall, and I’m so thankful for the duality and for the wisdom to know this is normal. 

I’ve learned to lean into old friends who have seen me long before I’ve ever recognized myself. They’re important. And special. And so sacred to me. I lean into new friends who link arms with me and walk together through the realness, happiness and heartaches of life.

I set goals and dreamed dreams for this last year, and I’ve truly achieved them all. That’s empowering and humbling all at once. That being said I have no idea what my goals are yet for 2025 except to go to church more. 

This year, I’ve happily danced with memories that once made me cry, and I have laughed in places that once broke my heart. I’ve learned how to better manage anxiety and stress, but also think it may be a continued work in progress. And that’s ok too. 

I’ve learned. I’ve tried really hard. I’ve endured. I’ve also been weak, and I’ve hated myself. With that, I’ve been working hard to become the change I wish to see in the world. I start every day within the walls of my home to be that light. Some days, I fall dark. (Also okay. We listen and don’t judge)

But every day this year, I have prayed. I have loved and felt love. I have been open to love. I have expressed thankfulness to God and the universe and to the people who love me for making me who I am. For giving me all I have. For knowing that I am abundant in the things money can’t buy. And that breaks my heart in a beautiful way some days. 

I’m grateful for all the pain, the beauty, and the kindness still existing in the world. Without all that, we’d feel nothing, and that’s not something I ever want to experience. I’m thankful for the health of my family and myself. I’m thankful for true friends. I’m thankful for old friendships and blossoming ones. I’m thankful for peace and the power of confidence and the vulnerability in love. 

May 2025 be the year you need. May it bring peace and many blessings. May it be surprising and steady. May it break your heart in beautiful ways, and balance you with peace. May you keep your eyes on Jesus. Remember to be slow to judge and quick to help. We can only meet someone as deeply as they’ve met themselves. We can only be our authentic and highest self and pray that the right experiences, people, and things find us in perfect timing.

Thank you 2024 for all of the memories. And 2025, thank you for being good to me and all the people I love 💗 I’ll be loving all my people without limits. Living life out loud to honor my mom. I’ll be kind, while taking no bullshit. And I’ll be manifesting more great things for myself and spending it with the people I adore so much ✨ To HEALTH, happy hearts, peace and LOVE. 2k25 🎊