The change of seasons usually always reminds me of my mother. A melancholy feeling, really. But it hasn’t hit me yet. Maybe it’s the fact that the weather has been absolute summer perfection the last few days, with no end in sight. Maybe it’s because school hasn’t started just yet, or because the leaves haven’t started to change and dance their way down to the earth. Maybe it’s because we’ve been riding summer like a buckin’ bull every day of the week. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because the load of grief has finally lessened its load.

I’d like to think it’s the latter. Saturday night, when we pulled away from the rodeo, my eyes welled up with tears. And for so many reasons why. I was so happy. I felt so grateful for going four times this summer. But I felt so sad it was over.

When we went to the rodeo for the first time, it was my husband, with his boy like love for the sport, who got us all amped up to go. The kids put their best western outfits on, and we let the night deliver us to another place and time. There’s a magical simplicity that comes with the rodeo on a Saturday night. It starts with a prayer, the national anthem, and together with strangers you’re talking to God and singing. The night wraps you up into so many emotions, and brings you back to simpler, more enjoyable times. To find a place on earth that fills your cup, and that you and your kids can enjoy together is rare these days, and I’m so happy we found the Painted Pony. I could go on about how much happiness and joy filled my heart just by witnessing my kids stomping their feet, talking to the clown, and learning their new favorite songs, all because of a little American tradition in a small town in upstate NY. Ugh. My heart 🥹

We also took a completely spontaneous trip to Florida. It was the first time Dan, the kids and I have been away together just us, as a family of five. Though Mav has been on a plane before, 2/3 kids wide eyed their way through their first ever airplane ride. We spent our days doing whatever we decided on, ate amazing food on a beautiful pier overlooking the ocean, went out to beautiful restaurants, laughed with old, forever friends and filled our cups again. This trip put the wind back in our sails, the love back in our hearts, and perspective really is quite the gift.

We came home, and kept the momentum going. Dan and I are notorious for our summer date nights. We love getting out just us two, dancing, mingling, singing, and remembering how much we really do love and LIKE eachother, still 🥰 We have so much fun falling in love all over again from time to time. When you least expect it, it happens. Marriage is hard work, every day, and we play as hard as we work. This summer was different, and for whatever reason it felt like this, I’m so thankful for that. I’m so lucky to have a husband who works just as hard as loves his family. He puts time into his kids, and the things they love, because he loves them too. He takes so much pride in our home, and we are constantly working together to keep our little sanctuary a peaceful and happy place.

We didn’t miss a beat this summer. We had late nights, lazy mornings, early mornings and truly all the things in between. Fires, s’mores, late night swims, breakfast in bed, lake days, neighborhood shenanigans, little road-trips, live music, bocce ball, couple parties, deck days and gardening.

This was the summer I started working out, meditating, walking, drinking lemon water before coffee. I invested in myself by adding discipline into my life. The feeling of being uncomfortable in my daily routine for the last few weeks, until I craved it has been amazing. I’m trying every day to become a more peaceful, calm, intentional, happy person, mother and wife. I’m so thankful to have amazing people who are so supportive of who I’m becoming, still, at age 39. I’m blessed because when I wake up, I have friends who cheer me on, clap for me, and support me in anything and every thing I do.

Tomorrow morning, we start our 5th year as a homeschool family. It has not been an easy road, nor was it the first choice, but if you know us, you know we can do anything we set ourselves up to do. My children are beautiful, intelligent, compassionate and kind. The boys are full of piss and vinegar, and also the leaders of their pack. Other moms who compliment my boys have brought smiles to my face on some of my hardest days of motherhood. My little girl is the salt of the earth. The sweetest, most thoughtful, 100% girly girl. To know my kids is to love them, and the gratitude and love that fills my heart for them is like no other feeling I can ever touch with words. Thank you Jesus, for my three little lights.

I’m so grateful. To feel so filled up by a season, that it overflows into tears. To witness moments turn into memories is a gift I wasn’t prepared for. This summer has been nothing but magical. It’s been filled with wonderful, healthy, happy days and nights. To be able to raise my babies with the man I love in a safe and happy home is another gift I’ll never take for granted. All I can hope for is that the greatness of summer melts into fall, floats into winter, and flutters into spring and summer. I’m not prepared to leave behind the magic of summer, so I’ll carry it with me as I walk through this next transition, the sacred time where it’s hot in the sun and cool in the shade.

My wish is that God blesses your children and you, as you continue another year of raising your children up. I hope God continues to bless me too 🫶🏼