There isn’t enough time in the day. Says every mother the entire week after daylight savings: the one where you spring ahead.

My kids have turned into rabid, nocturnal animals since Sunday and I am not here for it. File daylight savings week along with where to send me when I start menopause. Speaking of which; I’m about to be 37 and I’m wondering where my metabolism, my bright under eyes and quick wit in the morning went? Truth be told: Most days I truly feel about 27, like. I missed a decade somewhere since then – though when I get out of bed in the morning my hips feel like a C R I S P 42 with an extra 15lbs on the side. Feel me??

Truly I don’t care about age at all. It’s never been a thing for me. I do remember 10 years ago I was oddly single and celebrating my birthday in Miami. I had broken up with my now husband and thank the heavens we took that little break because we’d be nowhere near together if we hadn’t parted at that point.

🤍Ah. Perspective. The sweet spot in life. Now we sit in the kitchen touching hands and laughing while we write out and talk about manifesting the heck out of our life together and what we’ll leave behind to our children. Breaking old cycles and creating new traditions. Asking God to show us how it gets better, and better, and better 🤍

So here I am, days away from completing another healthy and happy trip around the sun. My life is full to the brim busy; but with all good things. My husband works more, and harder than anyone I know. My sister is my savior. My children fill me UP. Starts down deep in the depths of my soul and quite literally explodes out of the top of my very tired brain. With pride, with humor, with challenges, with forgiveness, with gratitude, and with a very precise form of love; they fill me up. A love that will never be explained to anyone until you’re a mother yourself.

As I reflect on the past year of my life and my purpose in this world, I am mostly blank. There is simply too much to put into perspective, still, after the year that has been unlike anything anyone on God’s Green earth had ever experienced before.

But experience I have. I have experienced getting up and leaving rooms I was no longer proud to be in. I left tables I no longer felt welcome to break bread at. I have experienced being thrown away by other people simply for who I am at my core, the way I love my family, the way I unwind. I have been talked about by friends I thought I’d have forever.

But now? None of that matters. Those things, a year ago, would have broke me. I would have talked it to the death and back alive again. I’d have needed closure and answers and fixing. While NOW, I have learned that at the end of the day, when all the diapers are changed, all the questions have been answered, after the mail has been opened and sorted, after the appointments have been made and attended and rebooked, the hard and the holy work has been done, and the coffee is set to brew for the morning, I can return to myself.

I can return. to. myself. And my self, has become one of my favorite places to dwell. I can hang my mind and all its wild thoughts up on a cozy hook in the corner, and shake my soul out as to give her some rejuvenation, a fluff, a break. And my own heart, an ocean in depth, is my softest place to land. I go inside my heart and my brain. I spend time with my soul because turns out, I really love me. And in a world where women are expected to give themselves within a morsel of what they have left at the end of a cold hard day, all but one grain of sand on an entire sandy beach, it’s ok to be self-full. It’s the opposite of selfish. And once you have found how to return to yourself, you don’t seek this approval from anyone else ever again. It’s that simple.

I understand now how broken, so much, really is. We can all agree that inside the madness of the world, we’ve realized what truly matters. What and who is authentic. And it becomes extremely clear when your mind, body and soul are aligned.

When your convictions and beliefs become so clear, it’s easy to let the stuff that doesn’t matter fall to the ground around you. Because that’s what it is. Ground level, beneath you. Once you’ve risen above to your highest self, truly, you can’t be bothered, it does not can not will not in any way penetrate your vibe.

So from me to you, as always, I want you to keep it real with yourself. YOU owe it to you to be that person you can return to. That person who aches for you to return to her in the quiet still night. That person who is cheering you on, grounding you, and filling you back up to go spread your peace and spread your love like rain and wild flowers out into the world.

Go back to belonging to yourself. Let those who belittle you, judge you, and seek opportunities on your behalf GO. Let them go. No competing, no comparing. Building people up starts within. Go build your most sacred inner space up with love and peace and light, and watch your world change 🌈

“Because it is rain that grows flowers” – Rumi.