Some people live a really pretty life. Right? It’s beautiful. There is money in the bank, beautiful fruit in the hanging scale for decorative purposes only. Their kids are healthy and happy and they work a pretty standard job. Home by 5 to do dinner with the family and done.

Some people have such a pretty life that they don’t know how to deal when the ugly comes. The ugly disrupts their reality, they’re perfect easy reality, and then they freeze.

What if instead of freezing and not dealing, instead, you dealt with the ugly in a pretty way? Put your beauty into where it matters. I never remember meeting someone and just because their house is pretty or their face is nice to look at thinking – wow this is my new favorite human.

Thank God I’m deeper than a puddle tho I guess. Good on me.

This time. This pause. This covid crisis. It has shed some major light on some major morals for me personally and for who I will include in my immediate circle going forward into my ✨new normal✨ if you will.

I want to be better. I want to hold space for what I’m missing most about my old life and go there first when I get back to it, but BETTER. I want to meet people only as deeply as they’ve met themselves but if that’s not aligning with where I’m trying to go, I truly think that’s no longer meant for me. Whatever that entails.

And that’s ok.

I know I post some shit that seems far the fuck out for most people. People who don’t want to challenge what they are spoon fed day in and day out and that is OK. I enjoy my freedom and my rights and the right to choose for my kids. My beautiful healthy kids. And thank GOD. I still live in a place where, mainly, I still have a few choices. Though one of the lights that has been shed is that NY is not my forever home. Big things are coming for the Phillips fam of 5 and I cannot wait to share.

And that’s cool. And if you don’t care? Honestly – that’s cool with me too.

All I’m trying to say is. This is a hard and trying time. I’ll even go out in a limb and say I’ve felt scared at times. Every single one of us. There are checks not coming, money not being made, and putting food on the table can be scary to think about. I have friends that have had to close their business and friends who have asked for help with meals being provided. I have friends who are dealing with family dying, without funerals or any closure. I mean I think one of the main things people are forgetting is that life is still going on. Scary big and mighty, life changing diagnosises are still happening. The world is still moving along, and some of us are far too concerned to think about and heaven forbid PRAY for these people who in the midst of the doom and gloom, it’s been even worse than “stay home and wear a mask” IMAGINE. That. That someone could have it worse than you. Some of us can’t. (And that’s ok too. Bless you for not experiencing the ugly in life)

I’ve LUCKILY, mainly been on the receiving end of the beauty in this. But I like to think it’s because the people I’ve chosen to put inside my very sacred space, is was and always will be intentional. For me, for my growth, for the way my babies are loved.

Damn this is all. It’s just. It’s all unknown. I read somewhere early on to treat this as if everyone is grieving a death, and then you will not be able to judge them. Because who would ever judge the way someone lost their mom? Their husband or wife? Their kids? A dear friend? You wouldn’t.

And while I agree with that, I still don’t like pretty people making an ugly situation, out to be somebody else’s problem.

Lovingly,

THIS LOOKS DIFFERENT FOR ALL OF US.

But. We are in this together. As long as we can keep our MINDS, as open as our hearts. And listen to another perspective. Or learn something new from a different source than channel 13/10&6. We will all come out better from this.

I promise.

Stay safe. Stay home. Think critically for yourself and your family. And wash your hands.

Peace, love and long tight hugs, from me☀️