It’s the eve of my first born’s 6th birthday.

And as usual. I’m up too late decompressing from a very busy day. Last night I asked my husband if he could give me 30 minutes of adult time tonight and, well. I didn’t get it. Because 5 short days ago, I was forced to stop working. And since then he’s been working like a dog. While I’m not going to excuse him for falling asleep and leaving the birthday magic to be left up entirely to me, I do understand him. Where his body is tired from manual labor, my body is tired from nursing babies. Where his brain is exhausted from being the boss the worker and every other job title that comes along with business owner, my brain is fried from the mental load of all that comes along with the title of mother. (How many times can a child say mom in one day? How many times will he cry and wake up the sleeping baby? Why do they wanna start fucking with eachother right before bedtime? How on earth can it only be 10am? What’s for dinner? What’s my husbands ETA? How is possible I Woke up with my boob hanging out again? Just. business as usual for a nursing mom… etc etc etc) We can all agree that this has been a tough. Fucking. Time. But what I won’t agree on is that we are all acting like the human race I was once proud to be part of. Normally I can get very wordy and flowery about things. But for this I don’t want my words to come across with warmth and love. I want them to come across very black and white. And this is IT – Be kind. Do one thing every day to help someone. Make a phone call to someone you miss. Give yourself grace. Ask for the transparency you need. Ask for help. I myself have called my credit card companies, called about what to do with my car lease, and I have been humbled to the floor by a very select group of people and clients since I’ve been forced to “pause.” AKA not work but also not be eligible for unemployment but also be responsible for my livelihood somehow?! I also have gone on a walk almost every day since I’ve been home from work and have found my happiness peaks during that time. I have worried about my son not having this awesome getaway for his birthday this year. Instead of harping on it, I asked my in-laws and my neighbors to help me surprise him in this weird social distance sort of way. (Still stressing over people driving by beeping and Mav not understanding why they can’t stay, but hey, it’ll be great 😅) I don’t have any answers, but I have a SHIT TON of questions. What I can provide is my opinion, and that is it. So here it is – Hey moms! You did a lot before the quarantine – stop feeling like you now have to add more to that load! It’s ok if you don’t reorganize your pantry/closets/spice rack/kids’ rooms and /or start the garage sale prep at this time. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE ON ANYYY MORE. Don’t do a puzzle! Who has a table that is safe from kids in their house anyway?! What kind of shit is that?! Ok. What else? Stop engaging with bullshit on social media. Post a picture of your kids instead. Think of three things you HAD TO change and how it has positively affected you during this time. I am not too proud to say I have been snippy short and bitchy at times. I am a human. With three kids under 6. With no job. (I REALLY like my job) With a husband I have barely seen. Without parents. And I can still find a reason to bite my tongue and smile instead. I can still find time to dial 7 digits and call someone who means something to me. This is tough, but we are tougher. We will get through this. I just hope somehow it’s the wake up some of us needed and we can truly mark this pause as a time of growth and learn to give attention to what’s important. So my final thought is this: You can post all the live long day on social media about how amazing you are, how beautiful your house is, your newest designer belt, your this your that. But at the end of the day, you are who you are when no one is watching. You are your most shallow thought and your deepest fear. God sees all. And speaking of Him, I hope you’ve gotten back in touch with the man upstairs during this quarantine as well. It’s not too late to change. You can still be truly good, we are all a work in progress. Be well, stay healthy, and stay sane ☀️ As for me. I’m gonna go smooch all my kids because I am next level obsessed with them. And especially (tonight) the one who made me a mama. COUNT🙏🏼YOUR🙏🏼BLESSINGS!