Every so often, there are things that happen in my life, be it a quote, or a situation I find myself in, or something someone says, or a special moment I have inside an otherwise regular day; that inspires me to write. I wish I had kept better track of it because now I wish I could look back at each post and see what exactly the jump off was. This post is inspired by a compliment my sister paid me about how she views me as a parent. It was one of the nicest praises I’ve ever received, and for not having my mom around to pat me on the back, it was truly such a pleasant surprise to hear something so nice from my baby sister. 

My mother’s bedroom always smelled like mints and plants. Do plants even have a smell? I don’t know, but her room smelled like it. She had a big brown frame around a big blue waterbed. The back of her waterbed was s shelf and on it was aloe plants. We’d open up the leaves in the summer and rub it on our skinned knees and sunburned cheeks. It was under that bed that my brother hid the hair he cut off of the back of my head. It was in that bed I would lay and watch tv with my mom on Friday nights. It was in that bed I realized my mom was unlike any other moms of any of my friends.

We were watching the today show or whatever was on in the mornings back then. It was June and Billy Ray Cyrus was performing achy breaky heart. There was all the groupies and fan girls in the audience and there was a woman with a white tank top on and her nipples were poking through her white shirt and my mother said “oh Jesus Christ her tits are hanging out” and I remember saying to her, “Ma do you think Simon’s mom says stuff like that!” And I don’t remember what her response was, but I know that her actions always matched exactly who she said she was.

It’s funny isn’t it? To realize what kind of mother you are? How you came about to be the way you are? How maybe some of the things are exactly the same as the way your parents were? How maybe, some things are polar and complete opposite of who your parents were to you? for you? That maybe the things you had were just as important as the things you didn’t have and that’s why you are exactly who you are present day? So me for instance. I grew up in a household with both parents, married, italian, loud the whole bit. Usually we’d eat mostly pasta, pasta, and maybe a meatball on top of the pasta dish my mom would whip up, usually pizza night was on Fridays at Sue’s pizzeria with the Sasso’s. I remember when our friends would come over we’d watch tv in the “den” and eat microwave cheese filled hot dogs, and use can cheese to make shapes on our saltines (omg vomiting at that memory) I remember getting virgin strawberry daiquiris at the ground round on special occasions, sleeping in bed with my brother and all our stuffed animals, and I remember my mom soaking us in our pink bathtub every time I had a scraped knee. I remember playing with my best friends, Mary, Simon, Chris and Hakeem. I remember going too far into the woods, bike jumps, and eating ice cream every night, climbing trees, drinking from the hose and always swimming in the pool when it would rain. I remember filling one styrofoam cooler with tadpoles me and my brother collected from the pond and having frogs literally all over our backyard a few weeks later. I remember then growing a little older and moving upstate, and the neighborhood kids were my favorite, one because they were mostly fun, and two because they were always able to play. It was Tshepo, Christy, Heather, the Crawford Twins and Matt. Even though mostly the boys would tease us, and draw pictures of my legs on the driveway, we would play hide and seek and flashlight tag every night in the summer time. Life was so good.

I remember childhood being simple. I remember it being really wonderful and rich in experiences. I can think back to that time and miss the simplicity of it all. The way summer vacation felt. How Fourth of July always meant the Jersey shore and time away from “home” but I loved it all the same.

So, with all that being said. I’ve found it funny how I’ve really come into my own as a mom. There truly is nothing that can explain the way a Mother’s spirit feels when she can spend sweet precious time with her kids. Tonight, I asked my husband to give me 5 minutes so I could change the sheets and as I threw the top sheet up in the air, I instantly flashed forward in time, to a time where my kids will be grown. Where my kids won’t be jumping on top of the sheets and the comforters when I throw them up over the bed to make it. Where my kids won’t be laughing or screaming or running through the upstairs naked, or even whining for that matter. Where I’m not threatening to take a toy away if Maverick doesn’t brush his teeth, where I’m not gasping every time Ace falls as he’s learning the way to walk. There will be a time we will surely miss this crazy, unchartered, endless days and sleepless nights. So soak it up.

Soak. It. Up, I said! Say yes more. Say no less. Be who these babies need NOW. Put your phone down. Take tons of pictures. Let them know you’re in love with them. Turn the tv OFF OFF OFF. Be their best friend. Let them stay up. Let them eat dirt instead of microwaved cheese filled hot dogs 🤮. Who cares if there’s a mess, it’ll surely find it’s way to be tended to during the 8 months of winter 😂 tell them another story, read another book, play another game, be funny, enjoy yourself, while enjoying them, because NOW will never be here again, and now that they’re asleep and I’m writing this blog, tomorrow they’ll never be as little as they were today and man, that just stabs in my heart a little too hard.  So be the best mom you can be. Give them more experiences and less things. Dig in the dirt. Eat dinner outside. Water the pavement. Flag the ice cream man down. Kiss their scrapes, don’t forget to apply and reapply their sunblock, make another play date with their favorite friend, sing with them, dance like a fool with them, laugh when they’re funny, make them smile the MOST, and give them a good old fashion summer. The kind you know you’d live again and again in a heartbeat if you could 🌈🎏☀️ 

God bless America AND you, and stay safe my friends 🇺🇸🤗