My husband told me over coffee this week “you are definitely not a lefty” …… does your husband do that? Light heartedly make fun of you for something you did? daaaays later? So I threw a bottle of yellow mustard at him with my left hand WHILE holding my baby in my right because POST PARDOM. And TWO BABIES. And SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. HI TEETHING, lookin atchu. Oh my God. If you are gonna judge me please stop reading now. If you’re one to call CPS, please, the time to look away is now. This week I think 3 different times I sat in a parallel universe, honest to God not knowing what damn day it was. I cried. a lot. I didn’t take one photo of my children on actual Halloween. I missed the parade the Saturday before Halloween because I had to work. Still can’t decide if I’m happy about that or not 😂 but I missed it nonetheless and Dan had to get two kids ready and dress them up and take them out in public and remember to pack the entire house before he did so. Because GOD FORBID daddies have to deal with spit up, or a blowout. My personal fav is how a man will get a beach towel to clean up a baby’s spit up while moms are over here like “just throw up in mama’s hands baby, just please don’t puke on the floor. I literally just swiffered one hour ago just PUKE IN THE HANDS my babe. No but seriously, sometimes I think he should be the SAHD 4 days a week and I should work more because he’s like …….. riiiiiilly good at dadding. So uhhh, oh yeah ok also – get ready, I did promise a non highlight reel; I downloaded Talkspace this last week. What is talkspace you ask?! IT IS A THERAPY AP. As innnnn, I went to my iTunes store, purchased an application on my phone for one hundred and twenty six US dollars. So A, I now reserve all rights to laugh at and/or judge anyone who hates to spend $1.29 on your favorite new taylor swift single; and B, it’s official, there is lit.er.ul.ee. An ap. For everything. I already fired my first therapist though and DANG that felt good. He was just not emotionally available and I stopped talking to guys like that in my early twenties. So yeah, the jury is out on whether or not I’m a fan of this ap as I’m in the midst of requesting a new therapist. However what I did wanna talk about today, in summation of one of the worst weeks in a very long time for me, is the power of silence, alone time, and hanging out with yourself. Putting your hand on your chest and feeling your heart beat. Taking slow breaths in and letting them out. Being intentional about your tone of voice, the words you speak out into the universe and realizing when you’ve argued with 2 people in one day, YOU ARE THE COMMON DENOMINATOR AND YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP. In the form of a therapy ap maybe 😂 see what I did there? I sit on the shores of my thoughts sometimes, not as often as I’d like, no. But I do. And when I do, it’s so very clear to me how powerful it is to have some quiet time with yourself. That any one person carries an ocean inside them. There are high tides and low tides, beautiful weather and storms. There are forgettable moments when the sea is calm and there is a familiarity about the shore. There are unseen things below the waves, and beautiful sights sometimes grace the horizon. I’ve said this before and I will say it again. This advice is great and it is pure and comes from a place of light and a place of innocence. It is ok to break down. It is ok to let your pieces fall to the ground and let them lay there for a while. It is also okay to voice the way you feel to the people who love you in a civil, loving, intentional, progressive way. It is ok, and healthy to feel hurt, to feel sadness, and to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to cry. For me personally, a good cry can solve most any bad days or moods, and a good cry can surely lead you up to your ocean and once you let it all out, answers appear in the very question you may have found yourself basking in. IT IS OKAY, to ask for help. To ask for a hug. To ask for forgiveness. Life can be downright nasty some days AMIRIGHT? It’s overwhelming, it’s daunting, it’s a challenge – almost every minute some days. But then, some days, you wake up and even though it’s raining, you have a heavy kind of happy sitting on your heart. These are the days that God made. Where he places good in between the ordinary, redundant, mundane days. These are the days that make us, that keep us going, that remind us that life isn’t all that bad, if only for today. Because isn’t that all we have? I hope everyone has a wonderful, happy and healthy weekend filled with your favorite and most prized people 💜