For the first time in like, a while I woke up this morning and I felt good. No anxiety, no looming feeling. I sat with a hot cup of coffee before 8:30 and the baby fell asleep for his morning nap. Mav ate a healthy well rounded breakfast, my husband is working in the neighborhood and has guys working in our house, so my level of happy has far exceeded normal expectations for a regular Thursday morning. So here I sit. Surrounded by yet another new situation that life has presented me with. This past week my sister officially moved in to this crazy life of mine. Lock stock and barrel. We now have added two more dogs to the mix, bringing the grand total of fur babies under one roof to FOUR (send tequila, and quick). Y’all know already how I feel about my sister, she’s like my favorite human, my diary, my mirror, the personification of love, my sister soulmate, she (and my brother) are the closest things on earth that resemble my mom as far as humor, speaking with just one look, and after party gossip seshes go. Allie and Chris are some of the only ones who know all my secrets. My fears. My childhood memories. We truly belong to each other now. And I suppose we always have. 
So it has been one of my life lessons that life doesn’t hold back on anyone. For anyone. Life gets downright hard, and then it gets a little bit harder, and then it knocks you directly on your face and kicks you in the gut when you’re down. If you know what I’m talking about, then I hate that you do. I wish nobody understood how this felt, but I know so many of us do. So, sometimes you need someone to pick you up and hold you for a while. Or, if you need a minute, hopefully you have someone to lay down beside you and cry along with you. Sometimes the people who promised never to hurt us, well they damn well don’t keep their promises. You fake the smile and try to lessen the pain when in reality your heart is breaking inside. It’s very simple, and I’ve learned it doesn’t just apply to one person but to all of us. 
If someone wants you, they will show you they want you. If they love you, they will use actions to deliver that love. If someone is interested in your well being, they will speak with kindness and compassion to help lighten the load. When someone begins to put up boundaries and rules in love, it starts to feel a lot unlike love and more like something else I can’t quite find the word for just yet. 
We are all worthy of love. I’ve said this before, but imagine your mother. Imagine her smile. The way her hugs feel. Wow I’m already crying. Ok. So next, imagine the look on her face when you just know by that exact face that you made her proud. Perhaps you can even hear words your mom has said, or says to you when you need to hear it most. Hopefully by now you’re feeling warm in your chest, and excited in your throat. I hope a smile is playing upon your lips by the thought of your mother. The way she taught you all these emotions simply by LOVING you. The way she taught you love, JUST by loving you. She may not have even known what she was doing, and you surely didn’t when she was, but now here we are, grown, and comparing all love to that of a mother’s love. And friends, THAT is the love we all deserve. 
So today, and this weekend, and for the rest of your days here on earth, when you go out into the world – love your people like this. Take them in, protect them, and love them. Love them like they’ve never been loved. Celebrate each other, be happy for one another. As I get older I realize really how simple it all really is. Just to be kind and find a balance in life where you can create a legacy of love with your peeps. We, are all we have, so we might as well be good to each other. Or even great. 

So, here I sit on a Friday night a little after 6 o’clock, I’ve got Panera’s southwest-chicken-lime-hold-the-chicken salad in my belly, hocus pocus on my tv and a glass of relax collecting condensation to my right. Oh, and a baby on my boob. And a toddler sleeping. And my house is immaculate because we’re having Ace baptized tomorrow and mama splurged for cleaning lady extraordinaire, the fabulous and wonderful, always beautiful ~ Meredith. I spent my morning with the littles and Miss Meredith, and instantly wondered again why mom dates aren’t a thing. I had no bra on, and I’m pretty sure my left breast was leaking and guess who didn’t judge? MY GIRL. A few sentences in I think we both realized we need to do this very soon and with wine. Because ya know what? Parenting isn’t for pussies. Parenting is not for the faint of heart and one single normal 17-track minded conversation between two adult women in the morning over a hot cup of coffee is like a dream. It’s like a fantasy fucking vacation to be honest. Motherhood can be so lonely and ….isolating. You wake up before your kiddos and go to bed long after they’ve fallen asleep. You think for them, clean up after them, teach them and try to always have happiness in your tone. You decide between sitting in silence and drinking wine, or folding the laundry. You give give give and though its so extremely rewarding, let’s be honest, a little take would be happily welcomed. You must have the longest fuse and more patience than a person who might enjoy watching a pot of water boil. You have to think for another person/people before you ever even think of yourself. Like; today I bought my panera salad around 2 o’clock for lunch and just ate it @ 6 o’clock for dinner. Why? Because Mav NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDED a bike ride mom!!! Only to ride said bike for ten minutes before I had to push it home because being a bike riding tot is EXHAUSTING (for me). Then we come home, split the honey do list between the two adults and boom, candy corn like confetti all over the freshly cleaned floors… Needless to say, I took the part of the honey do list that allowed me to leave the house 😂😂 Yeah, I don’t remember the last time I took a shower alone, or the last time I’ve been alone period – and planning a simple event like the christening of my sweetest new addition has turned into a month long planning extravaganza and mama is TIIIIIIIIIDE. Say it with me, tiiii-erd. My babies have itchy noses and I have the beginnings of a sore throat but who cares?! Tomorrow is bring your baby to Jesus day and there is just no time for mom colds because PARENTING IS NOT FOR PUSSIES. As I sip my wine, I realize my baby is still on my left nipple and I can’t remember the last time I heard him actually drink, but there is a thing called silence, and like all the finest things in life it is not free and it is damn hard to find inside these very trying and tumultuous early years of parenting. As for me, tonight I’m choosing wine over laundry and I say cheers! To all my mom friends. To all the moms who do it all, cook. clean. work. love and give the very best of themselves, to these tiny little humans who have no idea that sometimes they are dancing all over our last nerve. That we cry in our cars. That we order takeout because all that getting a dinner on the table requires was just impossible this week. That our time together is precious, but how very important it is to find a time inside this weekend to take ten minutes to ourselves. If we don’t fill up our own cups, whose gonna?! Right? Right. So. May your cup runneth over this weekend. With wine, family, love, friends and sunshine. Drink it all up. As for me I’ll have all my favorite people under one roof tomorrow night and my heart could only be happier if somehow, some way, my mom could walk through that door 👑