“If I could tell the world just one thing it would be that we’re all okay. And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.”

Ever have one of those days? Where you wake up feeling heavy? Your heart is full of sadness? You feel lonely and alone and almost scared? Like you don’t belong anywhere, and try you may, but the feeling encapsulates you and you’re stuck?

What about when one of those days turns into a few days and that few days turns into a week?

You could be arguing with your husband, or it could be the number you read on the scale. You could be disagreeing with your sister, or your mother may have said something that hit a little too close to your heart. Your boss could have made you feel replaceable or your dog walks out of the room every time you call her? 

How do you end these feelings? When you feel like you don’t belong anywhere, and everything is working against you, and you find yourself saying out loud “why me?”

Why not you? You feel that pull at your heart strings? You hear the noises in your head? The shake in your voice? That’s a shift. This is a lesson. Something is changing inside and it’s ok 🙂 it will all be okay. 

When life is standing in front of you, staring you down and you can’t seem to evade her, that is when you dig your heels in and stand right there and surrender to this lesson. What can you change? What is changing you? What can you absolutely not change? Seriously. Ask yourself these questions. Also, a favorite of mine: will this matter in 5 weeks? 

Go buy a magazine. Go for a walk. Donate old clothes to an unassuming drop off box. Go to church and light a candle. Have a full blown conversation with someone in heaven. Write a letter to yourself. 

This week has been a tough one, transitioning back to life from vacation. ‘What a problem’ you may say. Everyone has a hard time coming back to the real world after a nice relaxing time away. And I know, I sound so annoying! But with a jet lagged toddler and the umpteenth showing of our home, a jam packed work schedule and the impending holidays, the sadness in the world, and the fear inside me that this world is in fact a very scary place to raise a child in, I broke down today.  I miss my husband, who works sun up to sun down. I’m afraid I’m not always an amazing mom. I often feel taken advantage of because of my kindness. I haven’t cooked since Monday. I only dusted and did 5 loads of laundry because I want my house to sell. So, my heart hurts and I needed a little pick me up. Instead of posting “need good vibes today” and fish for my Facebook friends to leave me love on a cryptic status, I decided to write myself a letter.

Dear Brianna,

You are a warrior. You are capable. Your radiance from the inside shines out through your eyes, and through your heart. You are worthy, exceptional, and really really funny. You’re a great mother. Your body fits in clothes that hang in your closet so stop obsessing over your weight. You try really hard with lots of different people; don’t try so hard! Be yourself. You have some really precious relationships with some very special people, hold onto that. Your values are solid. Youre a good daughter. You’re doing the best you can do. Stop being so hard on yourself. You are kind not weak. You do need to toughen up a bit. You also need to realize it’s not always about you, in both positive and negative spectrums. You go to target too much, but it’s ok, it’s one of your happy places. Your husband loves you. You are talented, and love where you are in your career. Your son adores you. Your family thinks you’re wonderful. You are enough. You are a great sister. It’s ok to have a glass of wine, in fact, you deserve one. And don’t feel bad about crying in front of people, you’re human. Feel all the feels. Pain equals growth. And growth equals pain. So arguing with the ones you love, and searching your soul, and crying is all a part of the path. As long as you can pick yourself up when you get down, and maybe even laugh at yourself, you’re doing better than good. You’re smart, and you take a mean selfie. So get over yourself. Love you.

<3, breeze.