I like to keep one foot in a fantasy world, and one foot out. 

Wanna know why? Because this world is becoming a really terrifying place.

I can’t turn on the news for the weather anymore because there is a murder on a street a town away from me. There are babies washing up on a foreign shore I’ll never dip my toes into, but it feels so close. Why does the news run when it does anyway? All morning to begin our day with our families? Right at dinner time while we’re trying to gather and talk about our day? Or just before bed to fill our heads with nightmares. Honestly, the schedule is disturbing.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life. Like the terrible names of course, by people who clearly didn’t know who I was and what I stood for. Using past tense ’cause I cut those bitches OUT.

I think the thing that has bothered me most was when someone told me I need to stop acting “holier than thou.” Why? Because I put you in your place? Because 9 out of 10 times I kept my perfectly polite mouth shut and you’re shocked that I finally had enough of your negativity? I don’t LIKE it. It’s that simple.

 One of my new favorite things to look for is the silver lining. Not the shit part. I’ve had a lot of shitty things happen. I HAVE a lot of shitty things happen. I won’t talk about them because they don’t help me today. Know what helps me? My rosy attitude that’s too bright for some to be around. My confidence and sharp tongue that people would rather me keep quiet. And the final thing that helps me? The fact that one of my (fantasy) shoes is a size 7 jimmy choo in rose gold, with a 5 inch heel covered in sequins and diamonds. But my reality shoe is a flat size 10 steal that I found on clearance at Marshall’s. And I know either way I’m lucky to even have shoes on my feet. That I was allowed to let grow (at a rapid pace, yes I had size tens in the fourth grade, awesome). I know I am fortunate for what I do have. Some people will complain that the wind is blowing and I’m just over here like heeeeeey I’m happy the wind is even blowing, and I’m “too positive.” Is there such thing? Maybe.

I’m mad, down to my bones that my cousin Amanda passed far too young. I’m mad I dated shitty guys. I’m mad I worked with assholes for far too long. But am I going to freeze my life in purgatory because of it? 

No.

I’m always going to try to look for a silver lining in any situation. I gotta say, there was a time I was negative, and wouldn’t be happy until I could bring everyone down with me, and I was spiteful too. Isn’t that sick? 

But then I connected in to myself. And I think it was Kathy Lee on the 10th hour of the today show who said “count your blessings, not your burdens.”

So I say this: be so positive in your own life and let that happiness swallow the people around you. Swallow them in to your love and into your light. Keep your mouth shut when you think you shouldn’t. Smile at someone when you feel so inclined. It takes so much more energy to be an asshole than it does to just be nice. I speak a very simple language, and if you could take the time to understand who I am, you’ll know I lead with my heart. We can all be better, I promise. Now this isn’t a “take my lead! I’m amazing” but the next time something happens, genuinely think if it will even matter in 5 days, in five minutes. Be better. Try to find this inside and I promise you’ll look at the world through a new set of shades 😎

  
As for me, I’ll be celebrating the babiest SIL I have in the union of love between her and her soul’s mate. Congratulations to Kylie and Zach! I love you guys so much and can’t wait for you to enter this new chapter in your love story ❤️🍷✨ #cheers!