Ok but for rrrrreal though. Whether it’s because it’s “not acceptable” to talk about your sex life, or it’s a really good secret you have to keep, or because this one isn’t quite to twelve and a half weeks yet or that one hasn’t announced her legal separation yet, it can be really hard to keep all these things to yourself!! (Did I really just spew all those things I just typed? Yes. Because hello I am an adult and I am worldly and lots of shit goes on in front of my face these days.) 

But I’m talking about moments. A real genuine, authentic, sweep you off your feet moment. A lovely arrangement of seconds or minutes that you really just cannot put into words. All the articulating and thesaurus-ing will just never touch the actual feeling. And trying to use a tool as poor as words to convey a feeling, sometimes, is just downright frustrating. 

Like the conversation I just had with my husband before bed. It was such a real and unexpected series of events that led us to the very words we were speaking and it was funny, and we were laughing, and Dan told me I was playing devils advocate and I snorted and he cut me off, but ugh it was such a lovely little moment. And now I can’t even tell you what the substance of it was or what I snorted at or why he got irritated toward my rebuttal but it was just fun. I felt like we were weightless. And suspended in the middle of all the craziness that is constantly surrounding us. And in the minutes during our conversation I knew it was only a matter of time before he said “ok babe I gotta go to sleep now” so I held on to every last word he would speak back to me because the truth is, I already miss him tomorrow. And impromptu and deep conversations that happen like this are truly special and rare, to me and for us and they weigh heavy and deep inside my heart. 

Blog, meet the love of my life.  

   Daniel   

Michael

Phillips. 

Swoon. 

These are just three of seventy nine thousand memories we’ve made over the last 7 years 🙂 he’s the one that’s behind my big fat smile. He’s the one that’s made me realize what living really means. He’s the reason I can’t put moments into words because he makes me feel a way I haven’t figured out how to describe. 

You know when you’re on your way somewhere, and you’re excited about it? And the whole drive you were ok, totally relaxed and patient until you’re about 5 minutes away? Follow me here. My favorite place on earth is the New Jersey shore. My love for Dan is kind of like my drive to the shore. As I get to the big beautiful bridge that’s always lit up, I open my windows and let the salty air fill my nostrils. The humidity sticks to my skin and instantly I’m jolted alive, like every single cell in my body is plugged in, and I suddenly cannot wait to get there. Like can’t take it.

That’s the feeling he gives me. When he’s on his way home from work, I spruce: myself, the house, warm up or put out his dinner, light a candle. He just makes me so happy. All I ever want is to return the love he’s given to me. All the time. And use every resource I have to make “a moment” and have him feel how alive he makes me.

I could go on about how much I love this man. How I believe he was sent to me. Straight from God. A real life angel, dressed in a striped g-unit shirt on the third floor of the Saratoga City Tavern. How he taught me to be vulnerable, and when to be tough. How he allowed me to open up my soul. To open my heart and let him love me. How he helped me in ways I haven’t even been able to explain to him yet. How he’s made every dream I’ve ever had come true. How he made me his wife. How he made me a mother, and how he is the best father to our son. How he’s made me thankful for what I do have and not to want for anything. He cries with me and laughs with me and creates moments with me I can’t tell anyone about because my words will never ever do my feelings any justice.
He’s dreamy. His love is so familiar and broken in. To me, he’s home base. My rock. My right hand. The personification of love. He’s gentle and strong and sweet. The cornerstone of our family. The most loyal and dedicated and hardest working guy I know. He’s all I ever hoped for in a man. 

So this is a blog all about how Pinterest perusing at midnight turns to a heartfelt homage to my huuuus. I had zero intentions on writing about anything but here we are just talkin’bout mah dream dude #hearteyes #allday