see what I did there? I did what everyone wants to do. Find a way to hold on to summer in September by acting like I’m 19 and using slang and lingo as it comes to me. Im one hashtag away from making it a thing. Unless it’s already a thing and I’m not as bright as I thought I was. Idk. Go on insta and see for yourself and leave some remarks about my unoriginality in the comments section. 

Or don’t.
Just take a minute with me and breathe in this thick hot september air and remember that September is still partly a summer month! I admit, I’ve had like 5 iced pumpkin coffees so far and it’s only day 4 of this magical month. Iced pumpkin? Sounds sac-relig. #idigress.

Anybody else walk into Marshalls like threeeeee weeks ago and see the explosion that is yellow, rust and red? The words harvest mixed in with some signs scribbled with boo?! Can’t we just enjoy the month in all its Indian summered glory?! (Instantly i hear Brooks and Dunn in my head, country girl #sorrynotsorry).

Anywho. Here i am, making my blogger? Blogging?  debut. I don’t want to make money off of this, or even force it down anyone’s throats but I have a lot to say. I’m pretty open minded and I’m walking through life with precious friends that blur into the lines of family regularly. I believe in God. I say prayers every single night. I believe in the universe and the powers that be. I’m so spiritual and I’m unsure if many people know that about me. I also have stopped trying to hide my specific breed of crazy because IT’S FUN. And if you don’t like me then….. Don’t join my fan club 🙂 God, “some e-cards” or is it @fuckjerry? or was it a quote I pinned? Anyway those snarky punchlines are my spirit animal and they’re perfect for places like here 🙂 
I’m a mom to a gorgeous, smart, delicious and full on Aries BOY. My super hot husband and I chose to name him after one of our favorite child hood movies ~ Top Gun. (Something about Tom cruise always stuck with me, until he jumped on oprahs couch and got extremely weird) but so it goes, we named little delicious…… Maverick.  Middle name John, after Dan’s late grandfather who we lovingly called Pop as he walked the earth with us:) I do hair at a super dope salon with the most talented, hilarious and kind women. I married my husband over two years ago and it has never stopped being an adventure. But more about all this much later! Bare with the simplicity until I dust my computer off and hop on the blog wagon. Welcome to retired sequins, a blog by your favorite vocabulary gangster.